Horrors of Hogwarts
by two authors
Summary: Hermione and Ron have broken up and Harry is taking it harder than they are. What starts to be a normal day at hogwarts turns to a night of terror as our favorite students try to escape the horrors of detention and the psychopath thats after them!
1. Chapter 1

(A/N: This story line wasn't all originally my own. It was an idea I got after watching a show. I'm not going to mention which cuz it may spoil the story lol. But I did change the phrases and the way the dialog was spoken so it all fit and so I can indeed call it my own writing. And just so you know, this story is meant to be for laughs. I hope you enjoy it!)

It was a cold, dark day in early December. The skies where grey with storm clouds hanging over England. The house elves were closing the castle windows, prepairing for heavy rains. Harry Potter ran down the hall of Hogwarts castle as quick as he could. He was late for potions and he was not looking forward to the lecture he was bound to get from Professor Snape.

As he made his way through the door he found Snape standing in his path waiting, arms folded across his chest with a stone cold glare. "Mr. Potter," he said "how nice that managed to fit our class into your very busy schedule…"

"Sorry Professor…" Harry said, trying not to sound sarcastic "I wont happen again."

"Ten points points from Gryffindor, Potter. Now I suggest you get in your seat and open your text book." And with that Snape brushed past him and out the door to get some more parchment.

Harry sighed and shook his head "Great…" he said sarcastically "Now he actually knows I'm in class…" He walked over to where he usually sat in this class. But when Harry got there he found that Ron was at HIS desk. For the past few years Harry, Ron and Hermione always sat at the same desks in this class in the same order unless Snape interfered. Hermione was in front, Ron behind her and Harry behind him. But now Ron and Hermione sat with a desk separating them. "Ron, what's up? Why are you in my seat?" Harry asked.

"Well, Hermione and I aren't together anymore and I couldn't feel right sitting behind her." Ron answered. "See, sitting there I could still hear her breathe, smell her hair or watch her blouse go up when she raises her hand to ask a question…" he trailed off as Hermione raised both her arms in a stretch. Her blouse went up exposing a bit of her soft creamy skin. Ron sighed.

"I see…" Harry said, watching. Then he shook his head and sat down at the desk in front of Ron. "But I'm just between you two…I'm not… in the MIDDLE of you." Ron and Hermione had finally admitted it to each other how they felt and actually went out for a while. But thanks to a stupid argument (Harry wasn't even sure what it was about this time) they were once again estranged.

Draco Malfoy suddenly then dropped his quill between his and Hermione's desk. "Hey Granger," he said "hand me my-"

"THEY AREN'T DIVORCED, MALFOY!" Harry yelled suddenly, jumping from his seat. "You can't go around asking Hermione to hand you a quill!"

"Harry!" Hermione said, turning around to face him "It's only a quill…"

"Don't think I don't know what "picking up a quill" means, Hermione…" Harry sneering at Malfoy. "Nobody's picked up more quills than Harry James Potter!"

"Harry!" Ginny protested, looking up from her text book. Suddenly the whole class was staring at her questionably "It's…just a quill…" she said.

"I KNOW what he was asking, Ginny. And if he asks again I will take that quill of his and pierce it through his heart! Hear that, Malfoy!" Harry plopped back down in his seat.

Ginny, who sat on the other side of Hermione leaned over toward her "What is going on with Harry?" she whispered.

"I don't know but he's taking this break-up harder than Ron and I…" Hermione whispered back.

Professor Snape than reentered the classroom and stood in front of the class "We will return to the Young and the Restless after this brief word from your professor, and here is the word…" he turned to the group "Shut up."

Harry stood up again "Proffesor, I'm sure you MUST recall how it feels to be stabbed in the back by your girlfriend…"

"I didn't stab him!" Hermione shouted, standing. Then, pointing at Ron "HE stabbed ME!"

Ron stood shouting "Oh I'd stab myself before I'd stab you! Malfoy give that quill!"

"I don't have it!" Draco protested.

Severus grabbed his wand and pointed it at his students "That will be ten more points from Gryffindor and a warning for you Malfoy…" he sneered "Now nobody in MY classroom will be more interested in the love affairs going on in this castle then that is whatever the hell I AM TEACHING! One more outburst from anyone will land them in detention! Mr. Weasley, sit at that empty desk over there," he pointed to the other side of the room. "…Miss Granger, in this corner, now!"

"You're contributing to the furtherance of their apartness!" Harry protested!

"Harry hush!" Ginny said. She had no idea what had gotten into him. Usually he wouldn't have dared to speak to Snape in such a manner. He must have gone bloody mad!

"I am trying to teach a class here," Snape returned to his desk. "…now Mr. Potter, Gillyweed!"

Hermione immediately raised her hand to answer. Ron sighes as her blouse rises with her arm.

"See? I KNOW you're just trying to change the subject, Professor, and you can just forget it!" Harry said, not bothering to try and answer the question.

"You're knocking on trouble's door, Mr. Potter. One more word and…" Snape didn't reach the end of his sentence. At that moment a bolt of lightening struck, causing Giny to scream. Filch appeared in the doorway, his ratty, crimson eyed cat, Mrs. Norris, hissing his arms. Harry turned to see Filch standing his a creepy grin on his face. Professor Snape had had enough "That's it! Detention! The lot of you!"

(A/N: More coming up!)


	2. Chapter 2

Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny and Draco all sat pouting at their desks. All the other students had departed and now the five of them sat alone in detention. Malfoy was drumming his fingers impatiently. Hermione had her nose buried in her book, trying not to send glares at Ron and Harry.

"Ya know," Ron said, leaning over to Harry "I didn't think 6th years still got detention."

"They do when they act like first years." Snape said standing next to him.

Ron made a face to Harry "They do when they act like first years…" he said mockingly. Harry smirked. Severus however was not amused "Mr. Weasley," he said "When one plans to mock someone, one must wait until they are not looking right at them!"

"It-it's because I-I shouldn't be in this seat…" Ron said awkwardly. Snape rolled his eyes and started to head out of the class room. "This is detention," he said as he went "No talking, moving, no frivolity of any sort and…" he took Malfoy's wand out of his hands and placed it on his desk "…wands down, for the next three hours." And he continued to the door.

"Where is he going?" Harry whispered to Ginny.

"I am not in detention, Mr. Potter." Snape said, who seemed to be able to hear across classrooms. "I can do as I please. But know this that just because I am not present doesn't mean you are not being watched." And with that, Snape slammed the door behind him. As the door slammed shut a crack of thunder sounded outside the castle. Ginny jumped in her seat.

The students looked around at eachother in silence for several seconds until Draco sighed, resting his chin on his fist. "All I wanted was my quill."

"Oh stuff it, Malfoy!" Ron snapped "You're lucky to even be present!"

"I don't happen to see it that way, Weasel!"

Harry then got up from his seat and headed towards the door.

"And where do you think you're going?" Hermione asked.

"Well if I'm going to be stuck her for the next hour and a half I'm going to up to get a butter beer." He tried to open the door but it wouldn't budge. "Oh can you believe that? Snape locked us in!"

"He can't do that!" Ron protested "It's against the Geneva Detention Convention!"

Hermione sighed as she stood up "If you must!" she held out her wand "_Alohomora!_" The lock didn't even jiggle. "Blast!" Hermione cursed "No use, he must have placed a special charm on it."

"Why would he do that?" Ginny asked, also standing.

"Why else, so Pothead couldn't try to sneak out." Draco said.

Suddenly they could hear the clumping of what sounded like heavy boots. Slowly, Harry and Hermione looked up and opened the tiny window in the in the door. Both of them shriek as a bolt of lightening cracked and in the window sat the ugliest, most frightening face starring at them. Then Hermione breathed a slight sigh of relief. "Oh…its just Filch." She said.

"Hehe…yeah…" Harry forced a grin, then turned to Ron "Huge relief…" he said, the sarcasm only too obvious. Ron nodded. Filch smiled revealing his rotten yellow teeth through the window, then continued on his way.

"That was weird…" Harry said.

"This is getting kind of scary…" Hermione started backing away slowly from the door.

"What's going on?" Ginny ran up and clung herself to Harry. Harry turned and looked down at the red head holding onto him "I don't know…" he said "…but I kind of like it." Then he wrapped his arms around her waist. As he did so there was suddenly the sound of glass breaking, causing everyone to turn towards the chalk board. A vile had fallen from the shelf and was shattered on the floor. Ginny looked up and screamed. There on the chalk board said "NOBODY LEAVES HERE ALIVE!" The students gasped. "Now I don't like it so much." Harry said.

"Harry…Hermione said, looking at the chalk board closer "…it's written in blood!"

Harry, Ron and Hermione turned to Ginny who displayed a look of terror "I didn't do it this time! I swear!" she yelled. Hermione ran up and hugged her.

"Then who could have…?" said Ron.

"It's Snape!" Harry answered.

"There is blood on the black board, Harry. I don't think it's because he ran out of chalk!" Ginny snapped.

"Don't you see it's fake? Its looks like Kool-Aid! He's pulling a hoax!" explained Harry.

"Smells like chicken blood…" Malfoy stated.

"Shut up!" Harry snapped.

"Well what's Snape trying to teach us?" Hermione asked.

"Pay attention or we die." Ron said.

"You're bloody mad!" Hermione accused to Ron.

"Stop bloody attacking me!" He shot back.

"Don't say "bloody"!" Ginny shrieked, covering her ears. "Oh…this doesn't make any sense."

"It does if you've watched as many horror movies as I've had to watch. My cousin Dudley has a huge collection of them. This is a classic, the locked door, freaky Filch, the bloody warning AND…" he then pointed to Malfoy "…our soon to be first victim."

"What? Why me?" Draco asked in disbelief.

"Well Malfoy it's certainly not going to be any of us, I mean, c'mon!" Ron laughed, the others joining along with him. Just then, a faint pounding was heard outside the door. It seemed to be coming down the corridor towards the classroom. It echoed in rhythm. Ginny turned towards the door. "Ok…" she then took hold of Harry's robe "You're the classic horror expert. WHAT'S THAT!"

"That, is the sound of our beating hearts. It signifies our height in fear, and the fact that something horrible is about to come in through that door, right now!"

The door handle began to jiggle and the lock released. The door creaked as it opened slowly. The group of students huddled together, shaking with fear. Ginny screamed as two dark figures emerged from the doorway. "Oi! What's all the yellin' about!" said a familiar voice.

"Still afraid of a little lightening, sis?" said another.

The students stood stalk still. "Fred? George?" Ron said. The two figures stepped into the light, revealing them selves to be Fred and George Weasley "Hidy, Ho!" Fred smiled, holding a quaffle in the crook of his arm. The rest of the students sighed in relief.

"Hey, whose blood is on the chalk board?" George asked.

"Wait, what are you guys doing back here?" Harry asked.

"Oh well," Fred said "George and I were down at the Quiditch field, tossing a quaffle around. We missed the smell of the old robe rooms ya know?"

"Did you see Snape out there?" Ron asked.

"Nope" George answered "Not a soul…actually, it was kind of creepy…"

"Why creepy? Why's it creepy? Why'd you say creepy? Why creepy!" Hermione asked really fast.

"Ah, nothing it was just Filch." said Fred.

"I knew it!" Harry proclaimed.

"See, we finished playing and we went to change our robes, and there we was dragging his feet, walking along the corridors with that damn Mrs. Norris trailing behind him." George explained.

"But that isn't so creepy…"

"Oh and there was blood coming out of the showers." said Fred.

"AHHH!" Hermione gasped.

"Oh, how's the pressure?" Ron asked.

"Oh it was great, man." Fred.

"Really?"

"Yeah, got all the soap outta the hair, it was nice…" Fred and George started running their fingers through their hair, which now seemed much redder than usual. Hermione stepped away from them, suddenly feeling queasy.

"Blood in the showers!" Harry said finally.

"Yes, Pothead, they just said that…" Draco said, sounding more than a little irritated.

"No, you git. Blood in the showers! This is straight out of that Horror Film classic, "Blood in the Showers" no this isn't Filch, this is the work of a diabolical master villain!"

"Snape!" Ron said.

"Absolutely Snape!" Harry nodded. "I just feel bad that Draco will be the first to die."

"Will you stop saying that!" Draco yelled.

Harry shook his head and went to sit back down at his desk "So what do you think Snape is trying to do?"

"I think," Ron said "that he knows we're too old for detention to scare us like it did when we were little kids right, so he turned this school into a total chamber of horrors!"

"Severus Snapes School of Spooks!" Ginny said.

"This doesn't scare me!" Draco said "Nothing scares me! And Granger doesn't belong to the Weasel anymore, Potty! So if I want her to pick up my quills I will have her do it! What are you going to do about it?" The lightening and thunder struck as he finished. And the lights were doused. Ginny screamed in terror.

"Lumos!" Harry lit up his wand and muttered another spell to light the candles again. Fred had jumped into George's arms in fright. "Bro, did you put on a little weight since the last time you were scared?"

"Possibly…"

Ginny screamed again. Harry shook his head "No, no, no, you scream when the lights go out, screaming when the lights are on only takes away from the first scream."

Ginny let out another scream, and points. Harry sighed "Now you're just being loud."

Everyone else looks to where Ginny was pointing and scream. Draco was up against the wall with his quill jabbed in his forehead. His body then started to sink to the floor, leaving a trail of blood and ink on the wall. The students start to back away, except for Ron who walked up to the wall and placed his finger to bloody ink mark. "And we'll always remember that he was that tall." He said.

(A/N: And its not the end!)


	3. Chapter 3

"Oh my gosh," Fred shouted "They killed Malfoy!"

And with that, the students ran from the classroom, leaving Malfoy's bloody body behind and into the halls. They stopped at the lightening struck and the torches flickered. Some strange music began to play from above them. Ginny and Hermione look up startled. Hermione thought the music sounded strangely like something from an old radio show. They all began to relax, that is until a ery voice began to sing "Welcome all Gryffindor braves, we shall dig some early graves…that's right…come right this way…" and slowly it faded as the music echoed down the halls.

Harry took a few steps from the groups, shaking his head "Snape, Snape, Snape, you are SO low budget…"

"Harry, wake up! This can't be Snape!" Hermione insisted.

"No?" Harry turned to her "Then you think there really IS a psycho killer on the loose here, you'd rather believe that?"

"OH MY GOD!" Fred screamed.

"What? WHAT?" Ron yelled.

"My quaffle is gone too!" Fred shouted.

"No! No it's not!" George stepped in "I got it!" and he handed it to his twin.

"Oh good." Fred took the quaffle and cuddled it, feeling safer.

"Look, I don't care who's doing this, I'm scared!" Hermione cried and took Ron's arm "Could we please get out of here?"

"Of course we can't!" Harry said "Snape is trying to keep us in! So he'll have all the doors locked and charmed by now!"

Despite hearing this new information, Fred, George, Ron, Ginny and Hermione make a dash for it, all leaving Harry behind. They try the door at the end of the corridor leading to one of the main halls where they could get to the stair cases. But it was no use, they couldn't budge it. Then they ran back, past Harry to try the other side which led to a rotating stair case which would go straight to the first floor, but it seemed to bolted shut. "Blimey, he's right!" Ron shouted, now really starting to feel a panic. Hermione turned to Harry like she would admit defeat.

"Why wont any of you believe me?" Harry asked as they approached him again. "It's all so predictable."

"Oh yeah? Well what's going to happen next?" asked George.

"Well first, there will be a shrouded dark figure, creeping around behind us that nobody will see…" After this statement, the whole group turned to look behind at one end of the hall. None of them saw the cloaked figure running by at the other end. "And then" Harry continued "the lights will flicker, and Snape will appear and reveal his master plan to us!" Sure enough, the torches flickered nearing the point of blowing out and the music started up again and the creepy voice started singing "Here's a knife, here's a curse…and it is going to get worse…death is on the menu tonight…" the voice faded as the lights brightened, and just as Harry said, there stood Professor Snape, his expression holding no emotion, as always. Everyone sighed in relief.

"Oh! Professor Snape! I never, NEVER thought I'd be happy to see you!" Ron said, laughing almost nervously. "Now Professor, I got to hand it to you. You REALLY have out down yourself this time, I mean killing Malfoy, obvious choice, but the quill pen Severus, I mean that was genius!"

"I knew it!" Harry said, coming up to the stiff teacher "I knew it was you all along. What's the big lesson? What are you trying to teach us?" Harry gave Snape a firm pat on the shoulder. They never got an answer from professor Snape, for when Harry's hand hit his shoulder the teacher fell forward and flat on his face, his wand jabbed in his back. He was dead. Hermione fell to her knees "NOOO!" she cried.

"Oh my gosh!" Fred shouted "They killed Snape!"

Everybody ran screaming down the hall. Only Harry lingered behind, staring at the dead body at his feet "I…I was wrong!" Harry gasped. Then he looked about him and saw he was very much alone. "What? Where? HEY! Don't leave me out here!" And he ran after his friends.

They all were back again in the potions classroom. None of them were sure where else they could hide. Ginny took a sheet from the storage closet and covered Draco's body with it. Ron and Harry sat on their desks thinking. Fred and George stayed by the door to keep a look out. Hermione was slowly passing the floor, trying to get her head together "Snape is dead, Snape is dead, Professor Snape is dead!" she said.

"Snape can't die! How can Snape die!" Ron asked, looking from face to face.

"He was the first suspect," Harry explained "it's my fault, I suspected him. The second I suspected him, I signed his death warrant"

"Well is anyone of us safe?" Ginny asked.

"Yeah, virgins! Virgins never die!" Harry answered.

"Alright!" Ron cheered, then turned to Hermione "Thanks for saving me!" he grinned. Hermione just gave him a dirty look.

"I'm dead!" Fred said grinning.

"Yeah, I'm dead." Said George.

"Well…how sick can you get without actually dying?" Harry asked.

Ginny just crossed her arms and gave a frustrated sigh. Her brothers looked at her questionably. "Oh don't worry," she said "I'm not dead." All her brothers relaxed. Then Ginny thought of something "Wait a minute…Snape! HE'S dead!"

"Hey, Hey, Hey!" Fred said. And he, George and Harry join in "Go Snape! Go Snape! Go, Go, Go Snape!"

"OK! Listen!" Ron stopped them "As happy as I am for Snape, I am petrified here! Can we please? What do we do?"

"Alright, alright…" said Harry "let's just calmly recap…"

"MALFOY'S DEAD, SNAPE, IS DEAD, WE ARE TRAPPED INSIDE WITH THE KILLER!" Fred stated not very calm at all.

"So basically," George interrupted "we have to try and figure out who the killer is."

"Yeah! Maybe we should split up…" Ginny suggested.

"Right away, wrong!" Harry disagreed.

"Ok, fine, we'll just stay here, and we'll all me fine." Ginny sat down and curled us in the corner. Just then, a sound of heavy footsteps on the stone floors echoed through the halls, outside the classroom. There was something else too, something was squeaking, like wheels. The Gryffindors all looked at each other.

"Don't, don't, don't say it!" Harry said quickly shaking his head!

"Filch is the killer!" Ron said.

"And that's the end of Filch…" Harry sighed and sat back down.

"Oh Harry, you've gone mental!" Ron said.

"I'm starting to agree, Harry." Hermione followed. "You were wrong about Snape, and you're wrong about this."

Harry stood up and got in Hermione's face "YOU were wrong to break up with Ron!" he yelled angrily.

"But…I…" Hermione suddenly found it hard to find her voice. What did he just say to her? "I…What's that got to do with anything?" she finally said.

"Did anything like this happened when you two were together?" Harry asked. Hermione looked like she was about to answer but Harry put up his had first "The Sorcerer Stone, the Chamber of Secrets, or any issues dealing with the ministry, You-Know-Who, or the Order doesn't count!" he said.

Hermione was at a loss "No." she said.

"You killed us." Harry said. "You've killed us all."

"Oy! Harry!" Fred stepped in "Now you're over reacting. There's only been two people that are horribly dead, that's an expectable loss!"

The footsteps and the squeeking got louder and louder.

"He's coming…" Ginny squeaked "He's coming closer, he's coming for all of us!" she screamed.

"C'mon mates, lets get outta here!" George yelled and opened the door and ran out, his twin and others quickly following. But they stopped in the corridor as they saw a lone laundry cart slowly gliding toward them, its wheels squeaking. The students froze. Harry looked around; there was nobody else in sight. There was no sound of footsteps either, just the cart. Slowly he stepped away from the group and walked over to the cart.

"So where is he?" Ron asked, shaking.

"He's probably on his way…" Fred answered.

"I don't think so," Harry said "Ginny?"

"Yeah?" she looked up.

"Are you sick of screaming?"

"Yes." Ginny said, short of breath.

"Then don't look in here…" Harry said.

Everyone immidiatly came over and looked inside the cart. Everybody let out a loud scream. "AHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"There's like 50 pairs of dirty knickers in there!" Ron shouted.

"And this." Harry reached in and pulled up the head of Filch. He was, of course, dead. He had a pair of pantyhose wrapped tightly around his neck like he was strangled.

"Ahhhhhhhhhh!" Ginny shrieked.

(And still more coming!)


End file.
